Don't I Hate These Diet Rules

Being on the low-iodine diet is enough to make even Crystal Gayle's brown eyes blue…

Don't know when I've been so blue
Don't know how I'll make it through
With no iodized food
And don't I hate these diet rules

I'll be fine when it's done
I'll just eat all day long
Anything I choose
And don't I hate these diet rules

Sell me some seafood
Sell me some fries
Give me cheese pizza
Give me chocolate pie
Sell me pastrami with mayo on rye
Salt everything with iodine

I never dreamed I'd crave so bad
Didn't know that I'd miss crab
But honey, how I do
And don't I hate these diet rules

Don't I hate these diet
Don't I hate these diet
Don't I hate these diet rules

(Repeat and fade)