I figure that bad stuff is just going to happen to us. That's the way it goes when you're mortal. But if we work at finding some good in the bad things that happen to us, then we have something positive to focus on, and that makes a big difference in the way we look at the challenges we have to go through. I'm not saying it's easy, but focusing on positive things really does help us survive the tough stuff.

I didn't make this philosophy up. I learned it the hard way when I was 13, and I lost a brother to cancer during the same year that my parents divorced. At the time, I felt life was unfair and cruel. I cried that universal question, "Why me?"

Two pastors at my church (a husband and wife team), helped me come to grips with it all. They explained that even in the middle of tragedy, there is some good to be found, but it is our job to find it. If we look for something good in all the bad stuff, we can salvage hope and go on living. And we usually find that we are a lot stronger and a lot better able to handle it than we ever thought we were.

This philosophy is the core of Harold Kushner's wonderful book When Bad Things Happen To Good People. Mr. Kushner writes, "Let me suggest that the bad things that happen to us in our lives do not have a meaning when they happen to us. They do not happen for any good reason which would cause us to accept them willingly. But we can give them a meaning. We can redeem these tragedies from senselessness by imposing meaning on them. The question we should be asking is not, 'Why did this happen to me? What did I do to deserve this?' That really is an unanswerable, pointless question. A better question would be, 'Now that this has happened to me, what am I going to do about it?' "

It's amazing how powerful you feel once you have decided not be a victim, and choose to live life proactively.

When I was diagnosed with cancer, I got a lot of get-well cards that were very emotional. You know the ones: "May God hold you in His hands", and so on. At first, it was comforting to hear that message, but it got to the point where they were upsetting to me. I knew I was in God's hands, but reading about it over and over made me an emotional wreck. I finally got to the point where I wouldn't even read the cards with the flowers and bible verses because they made me cry. That's when I decided to ask my friends for what I needed.

I sent out an email, thanking them for their prayers and cards, reassuring them that I believed I was in God's hands, but that what I needed right then was to be cheered up. Funny cards and email jokes started pouring in and soon filled a 3-ring binder. It was great! Not only was I on people's prayer lists, I was on their joke lists! It made an incredible difference in the way I felt, physically and emotionally, to be laughing every day. I also found huge satisfaction in sharing the jokes with other people. It feels great to make someone laugh.

In the book Chicken Soup for the Surviving Soul by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Patty Aubrey and Nancy Mitchell, there are many inspirational quotes and stories. Here are some of my favorites that decorate my walls and computer monitor:

Robert Lipsyte writes:

"Attitude is everything in recovery from cancer. You gotta have 'tude if you expect to take a licking and come back ticking. Tumor humor is not warm and friendly; it's scrappy and sometimes nasty and tasteless, a sort of chemotherapy for the spirit -- necessary but (not always) nice."

Annette Goodheart said:

"In order to laugh, you must be able to play with your pain."

Josh Billings wrote:

"There ain't much fun in medicine, but there's a heck of a lot of medicine in fun."

Mary Pettibone Pool wrote:

"He who laughs, lasts."

I choose to look for whatever good I can find in this thyca challenge. Of course, I would haven't signed up for this if I had a choice, but here I am. So what good can possibly come from having the dreaded "C word"? Well, I've made a lot of new friends through the Thyroid Cancer Survivors' Assocation on-line support group, I discovered I can give other people hope by sending them encouraging emails, I'm thankful for the gift of song-writing which has helped people laugh, I am more empathetic with others who have cancer, and I have been able to show my young son how to face a terrifying thing with dignity and courage.

It hasn't all been a waste. I am thankful to have found good things despite my having cancer.